its not stalking. its research.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
