Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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