It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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