I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
