should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
