dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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