Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
