Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize