I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
