i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
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She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
