I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Randomize
