so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
