For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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