We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
