Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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