D3 body, D1 cock
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
We left an ass print on the piano.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
