We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
