Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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