Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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