Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
