Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
