im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
