apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
