Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
