Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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