Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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