Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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