Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Randomize