You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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