Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
