her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize