and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
