After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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