I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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