Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
