I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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