so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
You made out with two different species that night
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Randomize
