6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
