I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
birth control should be required to get into college
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
