is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
