hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
