Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
