Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
