if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
