But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
