I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Randomize
