I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
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