Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
