Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
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