But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
