yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Randomize
