Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
