i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Randomize
