you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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