How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
