Ketchup is God's man juice
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
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