i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
