Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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