like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
