the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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