see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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