please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
