How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
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