The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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