Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
