she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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