Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
